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I’m looking for my Cinderella, where is she? You?Too Big~~Sorry, you are not the one.

Dear Toastmasters and guests, how many of you are still looking for “The One”? Do you really think if you’ve found “the one,” you will go on to live happily ever after, and there’re violins playing Disney songs and cute bunnies dancing under the rainbow?

I thought I’d found “The One” when my husband made a vow to love me forever on our wedding day. Everything could have been so perfect. However, life is not like a fairy tale. Soon after the wedding, we had a serious quarrel over who forgot to flush the toilet. There was a moment, I began to question if I married the wrong guy? I couldn’t stop thinking: Maybe this is not true love. Maybe we got it wrong. Maybe “the one” is still out there somewhere.

We all have this experience: I want to FIRE my BF/ GF! And then we move on to our next princess or knight in shining armor, looking for “perfection.”   So here comes the question: How many “samples” should we try to find “the One?”

It’s been a question in my mind until one day, I read a story between Plato and Socrates. Plato asked his teachers Socrates what love is. Socrates said: Go across this field, pick up and bring back the most beautiful flower. But remember one thing, you only have one chance; you can only move forward and cannot go back. After a long time, Plato came back with nothing. Socrates asked him why? Plato answered: I once saw some very beautiful flowers when I walked through the field, but I was always thinking that maybe next one would be more beautiful, so I just passed by. But unfortunately, what I saw later is less beautiful, so I had nothing at last.

Socrates said: The most beautiful flower must be somewhere in this field. But the problem is you could never have the chance to meet it. Or, even you have met the most beautiful one, you would think maybe next one is more beautiful. Therefore, the most beautiful flower is what you have already had in your hand.

It’s the truth of life. Let me tell you now. If you’re looking for a perfect match, it just does not exist, because there’s always a better one.

Now I’m going to tell you another surprising fact. Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes. Like my marriage, it was a big mistake from the beginning. I love sports, but my husband cannot play basketball at all. My husband loves painting, but I hate Art class most since childhood. Why did I marry him? I just happened to drink too much and then fell in love that night. But we both have learned a lot from this mistake—Now I start to go to museum. He starts to go to fitness center. And I’ll advise my son: Don’t drink too much.   Though we are not each other’s perfect one, we know we are each other’s the one. The real-soul mate is whom you actually marry.

Marriage is like a gamble where you have to take chance and all in. The perfect marriage is not to get a flush straight. It’s to get a set of “good enough card” and make the best out of it. Who is “The One” in your life? It’s the Mr. Good Enough who is holding your hand now.  It’s the Mr. Good Enough whom you think not so perfect. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade; if life gives you a Mr. Good Enough, make a better husband. Cherish the one, and he/she would become a perfect one. Toast Master of the Evening.